It's Not Easy
by Agent S7
Summary: Man, my childhood was pretty messed up. You think you can top it? Well I was bitten by a green monkey. A GREEN MONKEY... Beast Boy reflects on his life as a Titan. T for Language


It's Not Easy

By Agent S7

Man, my childhood was pretty damn messed up. You think you can top it? Well I was bitten by a green monkey. A _green monkey_. Now, if I had even _seen_ a green monkey, that would be weird in itself. But I was like Spider-Man or something. I was BITTEN BY A GREEN MONKEY.

Of course, I gain superpowers from this event. GASP! What a shock! In a world with super-aliens, bat men and Michael Jackson, weird stuff is bound to happen. So I'm infected with this rare virus and my foster father, Michael Beran (AKA Mento) cures me. Only…I'm green and I can turn into animals.

I have a Kermit the Frog poster in my room. It's not up or anything, but I still love and treasure it. It has Kermit sitting there on a rainbow with a banjo and four muppets. So when I'm a kid, I'm all—"Daddy! He's just like me! He's green _just like me_!" And so I became a muppet fan.

I spent most of those days transformed as a frog…which isn't as fun as it sounds. When the Doom Patrol needed funding I would just go to a movie studio and be whatever animal they needed for a scene.

Which led to paparazzi. Which led to fame. Which led to the Titans.

Fame came, they asked me to join, and BOOM! Out of the Doom Patrol and into the next generation of superheroes. Naturally they weren't too pleased, and sort of…er…kicked me out. But I got over it, especially after I met Robin, Star, Cy and Rae.

Now here's where it gets weird. For about two years I've been with the team, right? We're all good friends, we're living it up, we don't have to worry about _paying_ for the pizza because of that Wayne Inc. or something funding…

I'm still not used to it. Everyone assumes that I'm the most comfortable here. You know, I relax, I make jokes, I play video games. Everyone says Cyborg and Raven are the outcasts.

And I'm labeled the jester. Hey, I _like_ being a jester, but still. Whenever I go to a movie or anything and try to act normal people notice me. Believe me, it's not hard. I'm _green_ for Chrissake! Raven can pull off the jewel thingy and just hang out and go somewhere, Robin has the whole secret identity thing going on, Starfire does…whatever and Cyborg has the car thing. So where does that leave me?

You guessed it. In the shadows. The guy with green skin, a sense of humor and no life. And the animals inside…I control them most of the time. But sometimes, when I fight, they just…

Damn. I'm monolouging here. I don't even know what I was trying to say!

The animals just sometimes piss me off. Sure they're just me…but if that's true than I'm _them_, if that makes any sense. And during the fights I'm not even sure which side of me is in control.

Only one person made me feel like I was special, and she's dead. So I guess I'm screwed. I've always felt like this and I think I always will. It's damn not easy being green.

I remember the first week in the Tower. One time when Raven walked in I couldn't help but ask if she had bought the costume from a Victoria's Secret catalog. I've long since repressed that terrible, terrible memory.

See, I _like_ Raven. Not in any sexy way. Hell, no! I mean…_really_! Why would I…?

…Moving on…it's really more of an appreciation. You see, my jokes suck. I _know_ that, it's just fun to tell them! The main thing here is that sometimes I need to get back to earth. And Raven is like gravity in two ways. For one, if you get too far out she'll pull you back down. Secondly, if you piss her off, she'll bash your head in.

Er…that made more sense when it was still up in my head. The point is, she's cool like that. There was this other time when she was meditating and stuff next to that window. I snuck up on her and blew a raspberry on her arm. She giggled, then proceeded to kick me in the balls.

Moral: don't piss off a half-demon.

But seriously. I…it's weird to say this, but really I can't picture life without Rae. Cause really, when you get past the whole goth thing she's really…well…sweet. That time when she volunteered to play stinkball…that was something neither of us would forget! Really, though…I…

Three days after Terra died. God, I was a _wreck._ I was in my room for a week. Then…Rae came. She just walked in the door. I remember the conversation perfectly.

"Hello?" I asked. Green Day was blasting in my ears. At this point my goal was to become as deaf as possible. Maybe a bit of blindness if needed.

"Beast Boy."

I glanced up to see, as I said, Raven watching me. Crap, it was obvious she could feel my every emotion! I acted indifferent anyway.

"Hey. What do you want, anyway?" I kept my voice steady. Doin' a good job, Garfield.

"I wanted to talk to you."

That was something new. The only times she wanted to talk to me seemed to be when in attempts at revenge for previous pranks. I spoke as coolly as I could.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

That part blew me away. Raven? Apologize?

"For what?" I asked timidly.

"I never trusted her. Even when I should've, I just turned my back…"

"It's not your fault. You had reason not to trust her, right?" Now my voice was breaking up.

"Yeah…but if I had maybe we could've avoided all of this. If we had _all_ trusted her more…"

"This is my fault and you know it! I should've done something! I knew something was happening! I just should've--"

Raven suddenly grabbed me. I was shocked at first—she wasn't much for wrestling. Maybe I'd finally driven her crazy and she was attempting a death lock…

No. Was this—

"Gar…it'll all be OK."

It's not easy being green. Well, most of the time anyway.


End file.
